I need people in my life, that one's for sure. And with that out of the way, I can now safely cross off Emotional Island Dweller from my list of future career aspirations. The trouble still remains of how to deal with them, though. I feel so ungrateful for the one's I have when I have them because when I don't have them, I'm miserable, and when I do have them I seem to thrive off taking them for granted. I ditch people because I can, I hold off answering texts right away because it makes me feel like I'm taking control of my life when I pretend like I'm busy enough to have "things to do" before I can respond. So, as it seems, I know I need relationships to keep me sane, yet can't seem to keep them functional because my chronic granted-taking leeches dysfunction into them. What in all hell am I supposed to? To top it all off, I've finally realized what it means to want romantic company versus plain ol' regular friendship-company. Normally I'd be bouncing off most hard surfaces at the onset of this understanding, but instead all it does is increase the potential for types of loneliness I can experience. There's no winning in getting to know yourself, just more real life to have to adjust to and cope with.
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